Having a night time skin care routine didn’t become important to me until I had my two daughters. While carrying them, I had very bad acne and majority of the reason for that was because I had very oily skin, wasn’t cleaning my face every morning and night and when I did decide to wash my face I wasn’t using the correct cleanser. But now! through trial and error I have came up with a routine that works for me morning and night, pregnancy and no pregnancy. So I am going to share with you all my little secrets, maybe it will work for you.
First thing first, I use everything Alikay naturals! African Black Soap, Dead Sea Mud Mask, and their Green Tea chai Face Scrub. The great thing about the African black soap and the green tea chai face scrub is that it can also be use on your entire body! I know right ! ( Mind Blown ) But yes, you can. I however have not used it for my entire body because the way my eczema is set up.. I am not taking any chances but for my face it works amazing. So my steps go like this
African Black Soap : To wash my face.
Green Tea Chai Face Scrub : To exfoliate my skin twice a week
Steamer: I steam my face for a good 3 minutes! it helps to receive all the benefits from your products. Once a week.
Dead Sea Mud Mask: Anti-aging, detoxifying, tightening skin and pores. I use this three times a week.
Water: I drink 5 cups a water every day! Trust me, it works.
When it comes to a moisturizer I use a little bit of my body butter that I purchased from a company named aloe blaque and just rub it on my face and I am off to bed. I keep my routine simple, for sensitive skin it is best recommended. If you do not have a night time skin care routine, you should look into it and find what works best for you. I mean, who wouldn’t want to have a glow without make up!? I know I do.
Homeschooling during the corona virus is a whole new ball field for most of us parents, I know when it comes to me I never thought I would be homeschooling my kids especially during a pandemic. It has left most of uneasy, lost, not knowing where to start and of course pressure. Us as parents have so much pressure on us because now, in a tremendous way it is on to make sure our kids know everything they need to know to pass to the next grade level. Parents are natural teachers within the home, we teach our children basic life skills but now corona has pushed us into unfamiliar territory. I haven’t been in school for some time now so it is definitely new to me to be an actual, all around teacher. However, I have found ways to make the process easier for both you and your children. Keeping learning fun, taking their mind off of not having friends, and coping with this situation best as possible.
Lets start with teaching ! Making sure kids know everything they need to is important ! So of course joining homeschooling groups are important, Pinterest, as well as Instagram are great resources to find out what your child should know and ways to install it in them. Great games that I have help my daughters are
Sight Word goldfish! My 6 year old loves this game. You and your child both have sight words your hand and you ask each other if they have a certain word. Just like goldfish! This teaches your child how to recognize the word and actually learn it rather than memorizing it.
Hide and Seek the number! When it comes to math my 6 year old loves it ! way more then reading. So what I would do is hide the answer to the math problems around the house on sticky notes. And she have to find them all and stick them next to the math problem that I have written on my long peace of white paper https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00II022O6/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_title_o02_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1 ( this is the link to the paper) Or I would switch it around and only have the answer to the math problem and she have to go seek the two numbers that add up to the answer. Very fun and a little exercise as well.
Book of the week: We read a book the whole week and enjoy the movies on Saturday. Make sure to choose a book you know have a movie or a movie similar to the book. It keeps the kids interested.
Making learning fun during this hard time is the goal. Kids do not have their friends, some can not even so most of their family members! Learning is probobly the last thing on their minds. So making sure it is fun and they do not fall behind is crucial to the little ones right now.
There’s a new product in my life, my hair absolutely loves them and I will be using them from now on! Their name is Kinky Tresses! They are a black owned hair product company and the CEO, Shawna, who also have 4C hair like myself, is amazing. She recently sent over her entire wash day line. Yep! I said it ENTIRE wash day line and I had the pleasure of trying them out.
So when wash day came about I used the entire line and filmed it of course! I give you guys my full opinion on my youtube channel. All you have to do is click the link below. https://youtu.be/cpT7pIpwORo
Out of all the products in her wash day line the Coconut Mango Butter is my favorite. I love butters in general! Hair butters sit well with natural 4C hair because it helps the hair stay moisturize longer, promotes hair growth, and prevents breakage. If you’re anything like me then of course ingredients matter.
Mangifera Indica (Mango) Seed Butter
Cocos Nucifera (Coconut) Oil
Broccoli Seed Oil
Aloe Vera leaf juice
They have so many other ingredients that are good for your hair, especially with the weather changing you need certain ingredients that will prevent your hair from getting so dry.
Now there is a right and wrong way to use hair butter and since I want to set you up for success!
Now first thing first, butter is your final step for styling! So wash your hair, deep condition, put your leave in, add your oil and then apply your butter to seal all that up.
If you be having dry scalp often, you can apply it to your scalp to help you out.
Use it as many times as you want BUT and this is a big BUT do not use too much! If you’re anything like me (heavy handed) and it might be your first reaction but you do not want too much butter on your hair. TRUST ME!
How often should you wash 4c hair has been a question that have been floating around in the kinky coily community for awhile. Washing your hair is very important because product build up is a real thing ! So how often SHOULD you wash your hair? It honestly depends on what your hair is going through.
Factors To Consider
How much product have you used in your hair?
Do you naturally have oily hair?
Do your hair get really dry after a couple of days?
When it comes to my 4C hair, washing it once a week is a must! I have to use a lot of products to make sure my hair stays moisturized, which is so important when it comes to 4C hair. In order to insure that my hair stays moisturized for longer than a day, using multiple products to insure that causes me have product build up. Although my hair might not look and feel dirty, in fact it feels dry every time after a couple of days, I know that the product on my scalp is still there. Leaving products on your scalp for weeks clogs your cuticles which can cause your hair to stop growing.
4C hair should be wash once a week, the longest 2 weeks. Let us not believe in the saying that dirty hair grows because that is not true. Your scalp need to be cleaned in order for it to grow. You cant have beautiful skin with clogged pores, remember that. You also want to remember to wash your hair with a clarifying shampoo. My favorite shampoo post will be up next week !
How can moms reduce stress has been a question that I found myself googling plenty of times. Not only since quarantine happened but since becoming a full time working parent, to a full time stay at home parent. Seemed like my kids was always driving me up a wall with so much crying, each one wanted me all to themselves, never wanting to play with each other. I could’ve sworn that’s why I had a second child, for skylar can have sister to play with and I get more me time. WRONG! I guess no sister can play like mommy! What can I say, I can play some serious make believe. If you haven’t seen my kids, I do have a youtube channel you can check out. Click the link below
However it does become a lot when you have to wear so many hats at once with no break in between. Can you imagine always being at work with no clock out time or lunch break? Its a real struggle. And although I haven’t found the magic key for not getting stress completely, I do have methods I use to get myself together sometimes.
Deep Breaths: I know it might be cliche to some but it honestly works for me. When I feel myself about to be pushed over the edge because the girls are fighting over this one specific doll, even though they have five others. I STOP! Close my eyes and breath. I do it on repeat at least five times ( one for each doll. )
Meditate: Its very hard to fit in meditation sometimes because my girls dont believe in mommy have time to herself. But when I do I take advantage of 20 minutes, find a meditation channel on youtube and just go with it. Now! To get full benefits from meditation you have to practice it more than once, it’s a skill. But a skill we’ll be grateful to have in the long run.
And when both those methods fail I resort to my most favorite. SCREAM! Yes I said it, scream. Believe it or not it is a method that some therapist recommend. Obviously we are not screaming at our kids, but we are screaming into a pillow as loud as we can. The feelings afterwards is a feeling I can not explain, it is just something you have to do in order to figure it out.
Motherhood and stress goes hand and hand to me. It something that can not be perfected but nobody can do a better job than you when it comes to handling it. Do you have different methods when it comes to handling stress in motherhood? Let me know in the comments.
It’s been a long time grasshopper! You haven’t put your fingers on a keyboard to write in such a long time. This is surprising however not so surprising at the same time because so many things have happened since you last wrote about your life. So let’s see.. Where should I start.
If you do not follow me on Instagram and youtube, then you would not know that two years ago Renardo and I have split ways. The girls and I moved back in with my family in South Florida and since then it has been an up and down roller coaster because it is just me as the full-time parent. Of course, I knew it would be hard to be the full-time parent with two girls but I had confidence that I could handle it. But I shortly realized that I needed help, more help then I could allow myself to ask from my family. Obviously not speaking, and saying what you need while feeling like your drowning can cause your mental health to just spiral. Which is exactly what happened to me, I woke up and something was just wrong, I was on autopilot. I wanted to sleep and lay, not doing anything with myself or my kids. And when I was doing stuff with them, I wasn’t with them I was more floating in my head and trying to figure out what was wrong with me, questioning every little thing I was doing, even to the point of questioning what I am looking at. Nothing was right, everything was wrong like my mind was trying to reject the life that I was living but the other part of me was trying to convenience myself that it was my life and I am ok.
You ever had an internal battle within yourself while doing your everyday duties as an adult, as a mother? It is torture.
I did have a friend to cry on but for some reason their words didn’t stick, sometimes it would make it worse. Don’t ask me why, I have no idea. I tried to dig deep but I couldn’t figure it out. Until one day, I woke, and I was ok, moving with life still being the full time parent. And I realized that its becoming on and off, I had my good days and I had my bad days. And when I sit back and think, maybe I was showing signs that this was going to happen before it happened. I was becoming real forgetful, very simple things, my moods was was up and down, sometimes I was happy, sometimes I was angry, when I say my emotions was everywhere, they was everywhere.
As a mom life can drive us crazy, and before we know it we are on the verge of being crippled by it. Maybe that is why self care is so important, not only for mothers but for everyone. I can honestly say, working, being a full time mom, chasing my dreams of being a content creator might have been just too much for me. I tried to fit self care in once a month, sometimes a missed a month, but maybe I need more then that.
I am not saying I am any better now, I am still going through my struggles with this but I am searching within myself to get myself back together. Things that I am trying.
Working out: The last time something like this happened to me was when I was in college and I just remember working out every day for an hour a day until I found myself off autopilot.
Meditation: According to my google research it has a lot of benefits within the mental illness category. It is relaxing however I have not practiced it long enough to see the benefits just yet.
Vitamins: Right now I am taking, one a day women’s, B12, Biotin, and Omega-3 all have benefits when it comes to mental health as well.
Prayer: If your religious or believe in a higher power, I definitely say it works. I might not feel like I could talk to anyone else but I know I can pray and he will hear my laughter and cries. He is an on-time God and I know he will be here for me when needed.
If your are going through a hard time menatlly and have not tried any of these I say give it try. We all will get through this together, a panadamic can do a lot to the mental, it is not just you, trust me.
Going on a trip with my children father was not weird at all. I thought I would be awkward, and uncomfortable, and my anxiety would be out the roof but it felt like normal. It felt like I’ve been missing him this whole time, my rock, my kids rock, it felt like home. I was so happy to see him but could show him that because we are not together and we haven’t spoken about it lately. He wanted to put that conversation off until next year because he says he have a lot on his plate at the moment. A part of me gets anxiety because I feel like I need him, I feel like every since we went our separate ways, although my life in the career aspect is looking up, everything else seems to be out of control and I am just trying to whole all my eggs together with no basket in sight. Don’t really know how to tell him that though, never seem to be the right time.
The day we went to Disney world he surprised me with matching outfits, I was shocked, I kind of told me how he feels because he use to do that for us while we was together. Matching shoes, shirts, and pants and our girls was matching with my nephew for his birthday, we looked real put together. We did hit some challenges though, summer didn’t really know renardo. She would not go with him, she was very hesitant, summer loves food, like absolutely love food and when he tried to feed her and she would not budge. And that is when it hit me that being away from him for so long is making an effect on their relationship because although she calls him daddy, that connection as her father is going away and that is our fault.
But out side of that everything went smoothly and the girls and I needed a break from the real world, even though it was only for 2 days. I thank god my anxiety was ok, and I didn’t get a chance to over think, it felt good to not be overthinking and just living in the moment. I was able to get some awesome pictures out of it.
It has been awhile since I have talked about this because sometimes it is a low key trigger but I have been dealing with anxiety for the past month now and this is the worst it has ever been. Some days I am ok and I don’t over think anything, but then sometimes I am overthinking every little thing and i don’t know how to bring myself back to earth. Last time i dealt with this situation is was when I was in college and I did not have kids, it was just me and that was ok because I could take care of myself. But having kids makes it hard to get myself together, especially doing it alone without their father around. We parted ways a year a go, the girls and I moved to Miami, while he stayed in Georgia, so everything falls on me. There’s no you keep them this weekend and I keep them the next weekend. It is just always me, always on.
I honestly did not expect for me to break down from always being on, and never having a time to be off, just do something that makes me happy. Doing youtube makes me happy, but I have to do it in a rush before summer ( my 1 year old) wakes up from her nap, before I have to pick Skylar (my 5 year old) up from school, and after I do postmates to make a little bit of money to replace the job I lost in May. I am not sure if all these things combined set me off into crazy lady, depressed, anxiety mode but I am here.
A friend brought it to my attention that I am starting to forget things more, and my emotions are all out of wack, one day they are up, one day they are down. I for some reason, him saying that made me snap in a way. That is when I can say I had my anxiety attack and it hit hard, it knocked me off my feet because I haven’t felt this way in 6 years. I thought it was a one time thing, but now when I think about it, that was the last time I felt so overwhelmed and alone. I guess I am back in that spot.
I have been trying to get it together though. I am drink so much green juice (green apples, kale, and spinach) suppose to be good for the brain, meditating (when I can) suppose to teach you how to shut your brain off and teach your brain how to heal itself, and last but not least yoga ( I have not been so successful on this one, its hard y’all) to center myself and increase happy hormones throughout the brain. At the moment medicine isn’t an option for me, but if I hit a point that I need it and the natural way is not working, trust me I will be running to a doctor.
The hard part is staying on track, sometime motherhood takes over and I forget about me, really forget about me and dont remember until it is too late. Trying to take care of myself while taking care of two girls is the most challenging thing I ever had to do. And I gave birth TWICE ! If you deal with anxiety, depression, panic attacks and you have children, how do you do it? Do you have a support system? If not, what is your methods?